Royer Takes Van to Refreshment Hut
By Salty Cubbes
Sedentary Reporter
File Photo
Terrifying Bat GM Ric Royer was permitted to drive his new van to a refreshment hut yesterday evening, sources are now reporting.
“He was heavily supervised and a second steering wheel had been installed for safety purposes,” noted Warden Jenness of the Foontz-Flonnaise Home of Abundant Senselessness, where Royer has been incarcerated for most of the year. “The incident, which we could not anticipate, is regrettable.”
Sources are confirming that Royer accelerated onto the grass and drove through three picnic tables. No one was harmed.
“I was getting out of the van because he had parked,” said an attendant, who refused to be identified and was later hanged for his role in the incident. “All of the sudden, he hit the gas and just drove straight through the patio. He laughed and laughed and laughed.”
Royer issued a brief statement.
“I ordered an ice cream that was topped with a bundle of little nuts. It was a delight.”
According to Warden Jenness, the van is currently being repaired.
“There was some body damage. I think maybe some nozzles and discs were broken.”
LANKVILLE DAILY NEWS: IN BOOK FORM!
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Lankville has been relying on Dr. Johnny Padres for their optical needs since 1973. We offer a full service family eye care center and provide examinations for glasses and contacts and have a large display of designer, traditional and innovative eyewear for both regular prescription eyeglasses and sunglasses all of which will enable you to see TITS better. Call Lankville Business 2618-2.
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The Kum Back Inn in the Lankville Desert Area has long been serving road-weary travelers. They feature a restaurant (with cocktails) and two spacious conference rooms. The Kum Back boasts 65 units-- each including window dressing, some chairs and a larger chair (seats two smallish children), a bed with orange comforter, a plastic trash can, clever paintings, and a windowless door. TV also available in 17 (sometimes 19) rooms. Most of the rooms are air-conditioned. Oscillating fans available upon request. Illuminated carports will protect your vehicle from the vicious sudden dust storms that often overtake the Desert Area and the wild thieves that occasionally parade across the landscape like some unmentionable horror. Call now at TU-0780 and ask for Bud or Karen (married).
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