Home > 2012-13 Season > Royer Takes Van to Refreshment Hut

Royer Takes Van to Refreshment Hut

By Salty Cubbes
Sedentary Reporter
File Photo

Terrifying Bat GM Ric Royer was permitted to drive his new van to a refreshment hut yesterday evening, sources are now reporting.

“He was heavily supervised and a second steering wheel had been installed for safety purposes,” noted Warden Jenness of the Foontz-Flonnaise Home of Abundant Senselessness, where Royer has been incarcerated for most of the year.  “The incident, which we could not anticipate, is regrettable.”

Sources are confirming that Royer accelerated onto the grass and drove through three picnic tables.  No one was harmed.

“I was getting out of the van because he had parked,” said an attendant, who refused to be identified and was later hanged for his role in the incident.  “All of the sudden, he hit the gas and just drove straight through the patio.  He laughed and laughed and laughed.”

Royer issued a brief statement.

“I ordered an ice cream that was topped with a bundle of little nuts.  It was a delight.”

According to Warden Jenness, the van is currently being repaired.

“There was some body damage.  I think maybe some nozzles and discs were broken.”

Categories: 2012-13 Season Tags: ,
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