Home > Ramping it Up with BIG CHIPS > Ramping it Up with Some Pumpkins by BIG CHIPS

Ramping it Up with Some Pumpkins by BIG CHIPS

October 23, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By BIG CHIPS
Special Correspondent
Photo on 2013-02-05 at 17.33
File photo

It’s about that time of year again when Big Chips starts ramping it up with some pumpkins.

Let me break it down for you.

First off, Big Chips came into a little moolah.  Sold off all my Richard and the Postman action figures and playsets on the internet.  Then I drove straight out to the country to look at a 1977 Neptune Chariot complete with mag wheels that “The Cut” had told me about.   When I first saw that car, I knew it was like having a cool breeze blow through your mind.

A fat old guy in overalls came out to show it to me.  There was a big stack of pornography on the passenger seat.  “The magazines stay with the car,” he insisted.  That was cool with Big Chips, so I handed over my wad.  He counted it out and seemed satisfied.  Then, he started complaining about foreign masturbators.  I didn’t quite get the vibe but I heard him out.

A cow wandered out into the road, followed by the younger version of My Man.  “You gotta’ crush a tart in there!” the old man started yelling.  I figured it best to head.

I showed Pops the car when I got home.  “This car is almost 40 years old, Big Chips,” he said.  “What will you do if it starts breaking down?”

“It ain’t gonna’ break down Pops.  Big Chips’ new car is a ramped-up, exquisite journey-maker.”

Two nights later though, Big Chips’ chariot broke down in the drive-thru of a Taco Horn.

So, it’s gonna take a little longer than expected but Big Chips is gonna’ get there.  Some pumpkins are most-definitely gonna’ get ramped up.

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