Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Transform Your Interiors with Plants

Transform Your Interiors with Plants

January 25, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

By D.N. Yathers
Special Plant Expert
scary_man_crying
File Photo

It’s a brand New Year.  Let’s transform your interiors with some plants!  First, consult the chart.

CONSULT CHART

PLANTS PLANTS PLANTS PLANTS
Sprig Spruce Basket Thrush Spiders Fig Branch
Yellow Johnson Weed Undiscovered Ferns Simple Flowers
Sky Cactus Ground Covers House Trees (Leave Blank)
POSTCARD - TORONTO - KING EDWARD HOTEL - ROOM INTERIOR - NICE - c1960

Look at how some flowers transform this bedroom.

Have you figured it out?  GREAT!  The first step is to set up the semi-garden within your home, cupboard or trailer.  Be sure to pick out plants that you actually want rather than plants that you really don’t want.  The Sprig Spruce, Undiscovered Fern and Ground Cover are most popular among first timers.  Not only are they some of the easiest plants to maintain (a man-child can generally take care of them) but they can also be left or “forgotten” for long periods of time.  They naturally filter rooms and add beauty to the decor!  Even though I’m completely alone, I’m laughing right now because it’s so amazing!  Shelley liked that about plants.  Anyway, you can research online or just visit your local Home Dump store to figure out which one is good for you.

Now you’ll need to buy some pots.  You want the plant to be showy and presentable as well as having enough room to breathe and grow. You’ll also want to pick out a protective cone that can work along the shaft.  Now the pot selection will depend entirely on you and your taste.  If you prefer a more refined look then go with a terra cota or some glazed pot from a factory.  Shelley would have liked that.  If you are an extremely meretricious sort of person, go ahead and buy plastic.  Shelley didn’t like plastic though; said it had a chemical odor.  So beware of that.

Once the potting process is complete, all that’s left is to put your plants in a place that will give them the best combination of sunlight, moderate temperatures and eye appeal . You will probably like to use places like the dining room, living room, or even the kitchen to display your new plants.  If you’re in a situation like me, where you’re waiting for Shelley to clear some of her boxes out but, at the same time, making it extremely difficult for her to gain access to the apartment and avoiding her phone calls, then just try making room for your plants as best you can.  Keep the soil moist but not drowned and begin spraying the plants on a consistent basis.  This can be a calming process– I’ve spent many hours lately just slowly spraying my new plants while going through a complex range of emotions.  It’s OK–it helps you connect with the plant and the plant to you.

You don’t have to a have a brown [sic] thumb in order to keep plants.  So go for it– create your own plant paradise and brighten up your interiors!  It’s AMAZING.  Shelley really liked it.  Hopefully it will make things tranquil again for me and make my interiors seem like something other than just “four walls”.  What creative ways do you transform your interiors with plants?  Leave a comment and I’ll publish them in my next article!

  1. Life Lessons Funeral Home
    January 26, 2014 at 6:46 am

    You will die. Are you ready? Call Eddie or Stummins, Lankville Business, 5-2161.

  2. Dan Scott-Scotts
    January 26, 2014 at 6:49 am

    I like to put plants in the bathroom. I mean, is that OK? It’s a little weird, right? People have commented on that. “You’ve got plants in your bathroom, you stupid SHIT,” they say. What can I do?

  3. Neil Cuppy
    January 26, 2014 at 6:52 am

    I have a very small apartment (it’s just a half a room). Still, I’ve been able to brighten my living space utilizing two-inch tall “limited cacti” which I purchased from a Home Dump. It’s made a nice difference and people have commented on the transformation.

  4. Judge Socquettes
    January 26, 2014 at 6:55 am

    Neil, you are a stupid piece of shit. And yet, such a delight when it comes to showing me worthless electronics in a damp basement. God bless!

  5. Dancy Carruthers
    January 27, 2014 at 6:32 am

    They tell me that I can eat plants and that I ate plants earlier today in the peas I ate. I don’t think peas are really good for an omelet but Tommy did before he fell down. I think the chairs are broken here but there’s nobody to talk to.

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