Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Inner Hammer Spotted Sawing Tennis Balls in Half

Inner Hammer Spotted Sawing Tennis Balls in Half

January 26, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Deacon Casper
Lankville Action News YES! Team
Teets Island Chain Correspondent
https://i1.wp.com/www.soulsharbordallas.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/jake.jpg
File photo

Small pizza mogul “Inner Hammer” was spotted today on the beach outside his hotel room sawing tennis balls in half.

In this Lankville Daily News recreation, a tennis ball is sawn in half.

In this Lankville Daily News recreation, a tennis ball is sawn in half.

“He was using a circular saw, sawing all these tennis balls in half and then pitching them into the ocean,” said beachgoer La’Quinta Hoes. “He stood there for over an hour doing this. It seemed to serve no purpose whatsoever. And when he was done, he reared back and lobbed the circular saw into the ocean too.”

Hoes was later either eaten by a whale or shot.

Inner Hammer confessed to the act while interviewed at lunch.

“Sure, I did it. It needed to be done and I did it. Really no big deal fellows,” commented the executive while sitting down to a meal of honey-baked hams, yard sausages, and rare acorns. “Don’t you guys have any real news to report, maybe one of those made-up Royer Experiences or some horseshit from space?”

Inner Hammer kicked a chair over to show his displeasure.

  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s