Home > Remonstrations of Fingers Rolly > That Piece of Shit Ain’t Selling Me a God Damn Couch

That Piece of Shit Ain’t Selling Me a God Damn Couch

Fingers Rolly

By Fingers Rolly Man on the Street

I’ll tell you that right now.

I went into town the other day because I was sick as all hell of screaming at that mother of a whore desert. And also because I needed a new couch.

“You got something in a Western motif?” I asked the piece of shit who was wearing a fancy pants tie and sweater combination. “But gimme’ something without no desert scene on it. I can’t stand for no desert scene.” I thought about howling but kept it to myself.

“We don’t have anything in a Western motif,” the piss stick shot back. “It’s not fashionable right now.”

Typical western couch (for illustrative purposes).

Typical western couch (for illustrative purposes).

I looked at the piece of shit for a minute and then spat on the floor.

“I oughta’ stick my boot up your fucking ass for talking to me like that,” I said. His eyes bulged real big then and I knew that he knew that I wasn’t gonna’ buy no god damn couch from his god damn popsicle stand.

I picked up a submarine after that and took it home and ate part of it while looking out at that old bitch-dog of a desert.

I don’t recall anything after that.

The Lankville Daily News would like to apologize for the preceding article. Mr. Rolly was assigned an article on the rise of Challenges in Lankville.

  1. Mikhail Goberman
    April 23, 2014 at 9:03 am


  2. April 27, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Brilliant craziness. Crazy brilliantness. Brilliant brilliantness. Crazy craziness.That’s it. Gotta run.

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