Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Bumpkins Carried Off By Wind; Schropp Unsure of Future with News

Bumpkins Carried Off By Wind; Schropp Unsure of Future with News

October 20, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Lloyd Byas-Kirk

By Lloyd Byas-Kirk

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS, YES!

Some bumpkins were carried off by the wind last night in an Eastern Lankville trailer park, sources are confirming.

The bumpkins didn't have anything nice, says Detective Gee-Temple.

The bumpkins didn’t have anything nice, says Detective Gee-Temple.

“There were seven rubes inside the…little…camper thing,” noted Detective Gee-Temple, who was the first to respond to the scene and held a brief press conference in which no food whatsoever was served.  “A supernal wind is believed to have come along and carried them off.  We have no further information.  The bumpkins didn’t really have anything nice inside the camper.”

The names of the bumpkins have not been released.

Other bumpkins who live in nearby trailers briefly spoke about the incident.

“One of them delivered for Pizza Monkeys.  I used to see him in their uniform occasionally,” noted Wilt Spatz, 73, retired.  “I think maybe they come from the North.”

Nothing happened after that and the interview was ended prematurely.

SCHROPP UNSURE OF FUTURE

Noted breakfast sandwich expert Brian Schropp says he is unsure of his future as a columnist with The Lankville Daily News.  He consented to an interview.

Schropp: Having Second Thoughts

Schropp: Having Second Thoughts

LBK: Why are you having feelings of uncertainty?
BS: Well, Lloyd, I’m just beginning to think that Lankville isn’t as ready [to embrace the breakfast sandwich] as I had previously thought.
LBK: Your articles have been well-received.
BS: They have. But only by a specific strata of the population. Those bumpkins you were writing about earlier– they were probably still having donuts or, God forbid, cereal in the shape of marshmallows for breakfast.
LBK: Don’t you think you need to build up…
BS: Lloyd…I…I can’t work under these conditions…for example, why is my article appearing second after the article about the bumpkins?
LBK: OK…calm down for a minute
BS(storming out): Lankville is NOT READY!

Schropp left the room and the interview was terminated.

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