Home > Opinions > OPINION: I Can Still Get Through the Mural and Have Sex With a Lot of Guys

OPINION: I Can Still Get Through the Mural and Have Sex With a Lot of Guys

October 21, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By "An Arrival"

By “An Arrival”

For awhile, my Father in the Timeless Realm of the Gods prevented me from getting through the mural at Vitiello Decorative Hams Arena. Then, suddenly, one day it was open again.  I just walked through and once again it became my point of entry to earth.

At first, I went through only occasionally– when Father was visiting other Realms, for example.  Then I got careless and just started throwing myself at about any swinging dick that came along. I even went back with this guy that was incarcerated in a mental institution. For some reason they were letting him drive a van around.  I was roller-skating by the river and he pulled up alongside me.

“Check out this van,” he said.

And that was it.

It went like that for awhile. Lot of waking up at noon, putting on tight green shorts with three stripes up the side, blow-drying my hair, skating around all afternoon by the beach, having sex with a lot of guys. And then one day, there was my Father in the Timeless Realm of the Gods, standing before me with the two servants of the Sphere behind him. They had just appeared all of the sudden out of this guy’s closet.

“Who is this creature?” he said in his typically booming voice.
“Kenny, I think,” I answered. I wasn’t even sure.
My Father in the Timeless Realm of the Gods nodded to the servants of the Sphere. They lifted Kenny up off the bed and took him out into the kitchen. I never saw him after that.
“The mural has been closed permanently,” My Father noted. He would not look at me but was staring at a magazine that was flung open over an office chair.

“You have had enough.” It was a statement, not a question but I decided to answer it anyway.
“Never. I could go on doing this forever.”

He picked up my skates then. Before my eyes, a chasm opened up in the carpet. And the skates were cast into them. The chasm closed.

And now I am back in the Timeless Realm. The portal is thick with briers and guarded daily.

  1. Dan Plankton
    October 22, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Marvelous. I have long wondered.

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