Local Office Snack Table Deemed a “Torrent of Lavishness and Superabundance”
By Brock Belvedere
LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!
A local office snack table has been deemed a “torrent of lavishness and superabundance” by staff members, sources are confirming.
The snack counter, located in the rear of the Supps Cleaning Supplies Quality Control and Safety Division, has drawn immediate and widespread praise.
The cornucopia of snacks that has the business world abuzz this morning.
“We usually have some good snacks, Barbara does a good job of putting a wide range of options out for folks,” noted Director of Communications Glenn Sundberg. “But, when I went back today, I was just blown away. The horn blew for us today and the music that came out was plenty.”
The offerings included two portable pudding packages, an apple, a granola slab, a dish of assorted candies, coffee, and a platter of meats (not pictured).
“I just had a brainstorm to include the meats and the coffee,” noted administrative assistant Barbara Aase, who has been in charge of snack placement in the office for eight years. “I thought the meats would go at lunchtime but people gobbled them up so fast that your photographer couldn’t even include them. I’m not even sure what happened to the protective plastic cover– I think it was crushed underfoot and then hurled far away in the confusion. Anyway, I’m glad people are pleased.”
The luxurious bounty has a dark side, however– two employees are currently missing.
“We have no idea what happened to Dawn and Gerard,” noted Sundberg, as he polished off one of the puddings. “As Barb noted, there was a lot of confusion back there when the word got out. Hopefully, we’ll see them later in the day or maybe tomorrow.”
Aase says that she will experiment with other layouts in the coming days.
“It’s all about presentation,” she noted, as he began scrubbing down the walls surrounding the snack table. “I’m glad everyone is having a good time.”
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That’s one meaty aase!