Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Royer Briefed By Popinjay; Orders Massive Shipment of Saltines

Royer Briefed By Popinjay; Orders Massive Shipment of Saltines

November 17, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Sha-Nell Byas-Kirk

By Sha-Nell Byas-Kirk


Rumored to be “coming out of his funk again,” storied business magnate Ric Royer has been seen this week consulting an unusual source for medical advice for his ongoing severe case of jaundice.

The Popinjay (File illustration)

The Popinjay (File illustration)

Last Tuesday, Lankville Action News: YES! was trailing Royer as he was carried on a palanquin by six of his trusty “life interns” (all of whom he met on Lanklist and who he says have “worked out pretty well”) at the Knott Salt Depository just outside town. Royer, resplendent and tinged yellow, held a discrete meeting behind the salt mound with a popinjay for forty-five minutes, and inside sources within Royer’s inner circle have suggested the topic was Royer’s skin color.


Detail of Royer’s face (take note of the fine eyebrows).

It is not known exactly what passed between the two behind the mound, but public records show that Royer’s shell company also bought a massive 200 ton shipment of saltines from The Depths via Teets Island just two days later. The shipment evidently filled two of Royer’s warehouses.

Coincidence? Medical cure? Or just pure eccentricity?

You decide!

In unrelated news, Royer’s autobiography, “Strangling People Without Leaving a Mark and Other Riddles” is expected to be out in June.

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