Home > Opinions > OPINION: The Hues and Shades of These New Industrial Products are Blowing My God Damn Fucking Mind

OPINION: The Hues and Shades of These New Industrial Products are Blowing My God Damn Fucking Mind

December 11, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Ford Bradley Dakota, Jr.

By Ford Bradley Dakota, Jr., President, Lankville Industrial Materialistic Products Society

TIMELY OPINIONS

Lankville is entering a new age. The new industrial streamlined products present a colorful god damn array. Such a great fucking range of hues and shades in plastic products for example, pose a god damn challenge in industrial reproduction that is easily motherfucking met. Or consider the beautiful glossy sheen and luster of fucking modern rayon– utilized all over Lankville to curtain the fucking shit out of windows, in clothing such as skirts and fucking blouses, and in blankets for those cold god damn fucking nights.

Just look at this stunning array of god damn motherfucking plastics.

Just look at this stunning array of god damn motherfucking plastics.

What about those individual candies you eat like a motherfucker? Did you know that each of those is wrapped in a germ-proof, odorless, gloss fucking-enhanced little god damn sheath of fucking cellophane? Or that god damn fucking bag of fucking Flummies you just bought? They’re crispy fucking fresh and clean because of that plastic bag that fucking holds them. Or what about those socks you fucking put on this morning? Made of sensational poly-blend acrylics– these god damn motherfuckers can be washed and dried repeatedly– and they still won’t fucking shrink while retaining their god damn motherfucking shape! Just another fucking way in which Lankville’s industrial streamlined fucking products are making your god damn life better!

Look at the beautiful god damn fucking sheen and luster of these fucking rayon curtains.

Or the beautiful god damn fucking sheen and luster of these fucking rayon curtains.

The Lankville Industrial Materialistic Products Society invites you to send for our god damn motherfucking latest study, covering fucking consumer buying habits of everything streamlined– from fucking socks to fucking candy! Write us fucking god damn right now: P.O. Box 5241 (Lankville), Industrial Fucking Factory Area (West), Lankville 2258.

And best to you and your god damn fucking family!

FORD

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