Home > Presidential Addresses > President Pondicherry on the Vicious Behind Slap that Has Rocked Lankville to its Core

President Pondicherry on the Vicious Behind Slap that Has Rocked Lankville to its Core

December 11, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
President Pondicherry

President Pondicherry

My fellow Lankvillians,

We are shaken to our core. Our very freedom came under attack yesterday by a vicious behind slap in a deep suburban kitchen. Ultimately, however, the behind slapper will have failed. Lankville is strong. We are a great people and we will defend our nation.

Once, I kicked over a round hassock that I was thoroughly enjoying. The hassock rolled far away, beyond my handlers and into another distant arena, unseen and previously unknown. I let out a little choked cry of deep sorrow. But the hassock could not be retrieved despite my requests.

This is my parable.

God Bless You and God Bless Lankville,

President Pondicherry

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