Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Vicious Behind Slap Rocks Lankville

Vicious Behind Slap Rocks Lankville

December 10, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Brock Belvedere

By Brock Belvedere

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

A vicious behind slap has rocked Lankville.

Space video of the vicious behind slapping.

Space video of the vicious behind slapping.

The slap occurred this morning in the kitchen of Ms. Sandy Pfotts, 29, of the Lankville Outer Suburban Region. Ms. Pfotts is currently being treated at Eastern Defoliated Area General Hospital.

Despite an immediate police dragnet thrown over the area, the slapper is currently at large.

“We are in the process of distributing some surveillance photos we have of the assailant,” noted Detective Gee-Temple, who was the first to respond to the scene. “Wisely, Ms. Potts [sic] had purchased a home security system which takes constant images of every room in her house and sends them to space, I think. We downloaded the images from space.”

Gee-Temple became confused and briefly conferred with a deputy.

“Yes, the images did come from space.”

Ms. Pfotts is expected to fully recover.

“I was just cooking a morning chuck in the oven and I bent over to see if it was fall-apart tender,” noted Ms. Pfotts, who was interviewed en route to the hospital. “This man must have passed quietly into the kitchen and…well, you’ve seen the video from space. You know how it happened.”

“We’ll get him,” Gee-Temple added later. “He’s done this before and he’ll do it again. It won’t be long.”

  1. Hannah Derricotte
    December 10, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    Its so troubling that people today don’t have anything better to do than slap women on the backside and go on their phones and twitter what they done. My mother taught me to lock the kitchen door even if you were just going out to shake out a little rug and stand right on the back steps. Sometimes i could hear out in the alley men sitting on the trash cans and singing. This is the kind of thing Lankville is come to.

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