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An Interview with Ric Royer

January 12, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Brock Belvedere

By Brock Belvedere

BROCK PROBES

Brock Belvedere recently had a chance to sit down with enigmatic Lankville businessman Ric Royer.

Royer displays his "poster face".

Royer displays his “poster face”.

BB: I’ve been hanging out in the woods a lot and I’ve seen your posters. What do they mean?
RR: I’m trying to encourage people, Brock. Encourage them to be a star like me.
BB: Why are the posters in the woods?
RR: Exactly, Brock. Exactly.
BB: How does one become a star?
RR: You must do everything with star power. For example, last night I cooked some animal-shaped chicken nuggets. Many people cook animal-shaped chicken nuggets. However, I arranged mine on the baking tray in tall columns. That is star power.
BB: If everyone became a star, wouldn’t it be less special?
RR: Oh, Brock. Sometimes, if you look closely at an object, it will appear to be behind you. No one besides me will become a star. Just keep in mind- the poster.
BB: You look really strange on the poster. Why?
RR: It’s my normal “poster face”. Nothing unusual.
BB: Looks unusual to me.
RR: Mind yourself Brock. It’d be very easy to lure you to a barn where you would be slaughtered. Know that.

An awkwardness ensued and the interview collapsed of its own accord.

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