Home > Opinions > So, You Daft Assholes Will Debate the Fucking Color of a Pair of Pants but You Won’t Read the Lankville Daily News?

So, You Daft Assholes Will Debate the Fucking Color of a Pair of Pants but You Won’t Read the Lankville Daily News?

By Marles Cundiff

By Marles Cundiff, Editor-in-Chief

A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

I just want to try to get something straight.

Basically, you daft bunch of assholes will stare endlessly at a picture of a god damn pair of pants but you won’t read the Lankville Daily News?

I got that about right?

For example, our analytics indicate that five million more people debated the fucking color of this pair of pants nonsense than read Elliott Cumber-Lanny’s important, dare I say groundbreaking report on the deadly snowbank. And evidently over seven million more people stared at these pants than read Gump Tibbs’ penetrating interview with female contributor Sarah Samways.

Are you a bunch of pig-headed mongoloids?

We work hard at the Lankville Daily News to bring you hard-hitting reports, important, modern opinions, innovative electronics articles and up-to-the minute bumpkin notices.

And all so you screwsticks can natter on endlessly about whether a cheap, shitty pair of pants are blue, yellow, or green.

FUCK OFF,

Marles
Marles Cundiff,
Editor-in-Chief

  1. March 2, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Sir, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

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