Home > Lankville Daily News, Opinions > OPINION: I’ve Been Punched in the Mouth at the Doctor’s Office Before, I’ll Be Punched in the Mouth at the Doctor’s Office Again

OPINION: I’ve Been Punched in the Mouth at the Doctor’s Office Before, I’ll Be Punched in the Mouth at the Doctor’s Office Again

By Dick La Hoyt

By Dick La Hoyt

OUTSTANDING OPINIONS

Yeah, this is some breaking news for that asspipe that punched me in the mouth at the doctor’s office the other day. Guess what, shit-clown? I’ve been punched in the mouth at the doctor’s office before and I’ll be punched in the mouth at the doctor’s office again.

So, I’m just sitting around Dr. Yothers’ waiting room, minding my own business, skimming through an old issue of Lingus Nets Illustrated and this tough guy comes strolling in. He makes some small talk with the nurse Karen and then he sits down a couple of chairs away from me. Whole time, I’m thinking what the hell is this prick’s problem? but I keep my thoughts to myself. Dick La Hoyt ain’t no troublemaker, know what I mean?

Next thing I know, this guy comes horning in on the magazine table. I’m like WHOA BUDDY! BACK OFF! THESE MAGAZINES ARE SPOKEN FOR! and I put my arms out quickly to signify that I’m ready for a dance if it comes to that.

Dr. Yothers

“You’ve been punched in the mouth.” 

This retard is all like, “All the magazines are spoken for? There’s twenty magazines here!” and I’m like YOU GOTTA’ PROBLEM WITH THAT, BUDDY, WE CAN TAKE THIS SHIT OUTSIDE and Karen, the nurse is all like This is a doctor’s office, this is a doctor’s office and one thing leads to another and the next thing you know, this cock fiddler is bucking, there’s some back and forth around the magazine table and then, BANG, the shitheel clocks me right in the mouth.

I wake up on a table in Dr. Yothers’ office. He’s sitting on a stool doing a word puzzle. He’s got this whole thing about word puzzles.

“Feeling better Mr. La Hoyt?” He hands me an ice pack. My lip is all busted to hell and a tooth feels loose.

“Where’s that horse’s ass?” I say.

“I sent him away. Just rest, Mr. La Hoyt. You’ve been punched in the mouth.”

Sure, sure, I’d been punched in the mouth, doc. But I just want that sack of shit to know it– ain’t the first time and it won’t be the last.

The opinions of Dick La Hoyt are not necessarily the opinions of The Lankville Daily News or any of its subsidiaries.

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