Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Columnist Hadbawnik Nabs Ph.D.

Columnist Hadbawnik Nabs Ph.D.

By Elliott Cumber-Lanny

By Elliott Cumber-Lanny


Lankville Daily News contributor David Hadbawnik has nabbed a Ph.D., sources are confirming.

“It’s true,” the columnist affirmed, when we accosted him outside the room where he successfully defended his doctoral thesis. “I feel great, feel like I’m ready to take the next step forward and wait for the opportunity to give academia 110% all the time. I’m in the best shape of my life,” Dr. Hadbawnik added.

Dr. David Hadbawnik

Dr. David Hadbawnik

Hadbawnik’s thesis, a study of various medieval Lankville poets, was praised by a professor and panel member who refused to be identified.

“It’s a great piece of scholarship and Dr. Hadbawnik has a great attitude. He worked hard and if he didn’t always have his best stuff, he battled. He’s happy to be here– he’s a professional scholar.”

In appreciation of Hadbawnik’s achievement, The Lankville Daily News named the scholar a “Senior Correspondent” early this afternoon.

“We don’t have many senior correspondents,” noted editor-in-chief Marles Cundiff. “But Dr. Hadbooner [sic] is the kind of guy we can rely on. He’s a great clubhouse guy and he takes things one day at a time and he always has his game face on. With this honor, he’s really made a statement. It’s a statement Ph.D., it really is.”

Dr. Hadbawnik did not outline any specific celebration of his achievement.

“Probably just a quiet dinner at the Casa Montecristo,” he stated. “It’s an elegant reception hall,” he added after a long silence.

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