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Odds and Ends by Brian Schropp

Brian Schropp on Cuisine

Brian Schropp on Cuisine

After the events surrounding the pizza delivery to President Pondicherry (please see my last two thrilling articles), there is both good and bad news. The good being that the President was very pleased to hear about our fast professional service of bringing the ‘Mid Morning Snack Pizza’ to the three presidential dogs (all named Mr. Peepers). Unfortunately, he also decided to name the ‘Pizza-A-Round’ the best place to get your pets a pizza. Which believe me– any endorsement from Pondicherry is great but this isn’t actually what Scott was hoping for. I went hard to work in trying to come up with a few ideas to capitalize off this and try to keep my manager’s spirits up (otherwise bloodshed was sure to follow). My efforts are turning out to be a bit of a struggle. I had to use a bit of my own money to purchase a can of dog food (had no choice but to let Chet Cameron pick it up from Foodville since they had it the cheapest) which I then put on your basic cheese pizza to run through the oven. The results were pretty disastrous. After airing out the place and calling an ambulance (some guests in our dining area said they were feeling ‘sick’ because of the smell) Scott told me if I pulled something like that again it would be ‘end days’ for me.

My manager Scott relaxing at home.

My manager Scott relaxing at home.

Honestly, I’m not too worried about it, I know he is just frustrated by the whole ordeal. The other day we had a customer come in and ask innocently enough if we carried actual dog food now since the “Lankville Pet Palace” was closed. Without listening to reason Scott jumped the counter and chased after the guy. A little while later after Scott came back some of us at the pizza shop tried to ask what happened but he was silent on the matter. So please if you were that customer can you please contact me via the paper so I know you are OK?

In other exciting news my friend, Trucker Joe told me about a new exciting tattoo trend at his favorite hangout “The Deep Northern Suburban Lankville Trucker’s Pool and Spa Association” and that tattoo is of me!!!

The new, trendy BSS tattoo.

The now trendy BSS tattoo.

“They have really taken a shine to you there,” Trucker Joe was telling me as we both lounged in tubs at ‘Subs ‘N’ Suds yesterday. “I think it looks pretty cool. One guy, Carl has it on his bicep just above his ‘I heart Mom’ tattoo. Carl looks mean on the outside, inside he is just a big softie. He was telling me with a slight tear in his eye how much he liked talking to you about food, said it reminded him of talking to his Granddad about breakfast sandwiches on the front porch swing as a kid. Now he says his Granddad just haunts him in his dreams. I think he might of knifed him as a teenager over some sort of trucker’s dispute. Anyways, “Sassy Molly’ got one too, pretty sure she has a thing for you– always saying how ‘cute and chubby’ you are. You might be able to see it for free but she’s got it in a spot other truckers have to pay to see.”

I’m glad Trucker Joe was able to pull some strings at the tattoo parlor so I could share it with you.

I find it a great honor and one I do not take lightly. I feel a strong kinship with all the male and female truckers of Lankville– their sense of the open wonder of the road, our same fear of Highway 71 (also known as ‘The Badlands’) and most importantly our wonderful huge appetites. Keep on truckin’ my friends!!

And lastly, I have been receiving many letters through the paper about sharing some of my ‘cutting edge’ culinary recipes I work on at home. So here is one of my more recent creations– ‘Lankville O’s Gelatin Dinner Time Surprise’. Ingredients you will need- one can of ‘Lankville O’s’, one prepackaged box of gelatin (any flavor would do, I prefer the red or green stuff), prepackaged tomato bits, any other vegetable or meat scraps you might think will work (I have found both ham and scrapple work very well), a couple big cups of sugar and an extra canned processed tomato sauce.

The very delightful 'Lankville O's Gelatin Dinner Time Surprise'

The very delightful ‘Lankville O’s Gelatin Dinner Time Surprise’

Now take a baking pan placing the gelatin, Lankville O’s, tomato bits, all your scraps of meat, veggies, couple of big cups of sugar, and then mixing it all together into a big ‘ball shape’. The gelatin should act as a sticking agent holding it tight– if you feel it does not have enough ‘form’ I would recommend adding a half can of thick mayonnaise or even a little bit of non-toxic glue or paste. After your ball shape is formed you add on the extra processed tomato sauce then salt and pepper to taste. Now, cooking times will vary depending on what you put in it, I have found microwaving this IS NOT AN OPTION (sorry mom will be buying you a new microwave with next paycheck). I would say use a slow heating time to let all those flavors work in together, once you see the top and edges start to brown it will be done shortly. After letting it cool down please dig in and enjoy!! I found the sweet and savory taste to be very pleasant almost like a dinner and dessert all in one course!! Another option you might want to try is going for more of the dessert side and adding marshmallows with some caramel sauce on top. However you wish to make this stunning culinary idea your know I only wish simply that it’s enjoyed!
Until next time dear reader, keep your mouth and mind open to new ideas, Happy Eating-Bri

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