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Meet the Reporters of The Lankville Daily News

Buck Igloos

By Buck Igloos

The first job I had was writing copy for hotel pamphlets. The guy that gave it to me– he said, “Now look, Igloos. I’m giving you a real shot here. Don’t blow it.” So, I went home and just about stayed up all night. Nothing was working– I’d put something down on the page and then just as soon I’d tear it up. I must have filled about five wastebins with crumpled paper. My lover at the time, she said, “I’m getting tired of emptying this wastebin, Buck. Whyn’t you come to bed?” She was a lovely girl– gorgeous hair. My God, I was crazy about her.

Anyway, it must’ve been about 6 A.M. and I was due in in an hour. And then finally it came: “offering its guests convenience and quiet relaxation in a quaint setting”. I jumped in the air. I had nailed it and I knew it. Then, as if it came from above, I wrote, “only six miles from Lankville’s capital.” I couldn’t believe it.

The boss, he read the paper a couple of times over while he sat on the side of his desk smoking a cigarette. Eventually, he looked up.

“You wrote this, Igloos?”

I was really sweating. Didn’t help that I had an all-brown suit on that wasn’t breathing for shit.

The boss cleared his throat. “It’ll do,” he said.

I got the hell out of there. But later, at lunch, some of the fellows keyed me in.

“Yeah, the boss couldn’t believe your work, Igloos,” a guy named Jimmy told me. I’ll never forget him because he died later. “The boss was telling his secretary– this Igloos– he’s good. He’s real good” and then he phoned up the regional manager and told him he was putting you on all the quaint hotel accounts.” Jimmy slapped me on the back and I coughed up a bit of porridge. But I didn’t care– I had made it. It was going to be all uphill from there.

And it has been. I’ve been lucky. Married a lovely girl- not the same girl but another lovely girl with lovely hair. Cries a lot but what can you do?

Buck Igloos has been a feature reporter for The Lankville Daily News since 1993.

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