Famed “Pizza Disturbance” Closes After 61 Years
Buck Igloos
LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!
The “Pizza Disturbance”, a famed Eastern Pines restaurant, has closed after 61 years.
“We were a beacon for pizza enthusiasts,” noted manager Crease Sandborn, who inherited the business from his father. “But now that run is over. It’s time to prepare. To prepare for death.”
Calls to the old phone number went directly to a recording thanking its loyal customers and also admitting to several murders.
The property, which featured a carry-out window, a sit-down bar, and balloons, has been sold to Sensational Mons Entertainments, a developer and amusement park concern.
“I can confirm the purchase of the property that formerly housed The Pizza Disturbance,” said Sensational Mons representative Al Heffler. “But I have absolutely nothing further to add to your story. Eventually, a placard will be put up. But you’ll have to wait.”
The site of “The Pizza Disturbance” before Brian Schropp set it on fire.
Sandborn, now 82, is planning a move to the Islands.
“The Islands seems like a good place to die,” he stated.
A small gathering of pizza enthusiasts assembled at the location in the Eastern Pines Business District to mourn.
“I loved the Pizza Disturbance,” noted Lankville Daily News cuisine writer Brian Schropp. “Mr. Sandborn said that I was the goofiest-looking person he had ever seen before shoving slices at me on a grease-soaked paper plate. So, there was that old world charm that you don’t really get at the modern places.”
Schropp lit a candle in memory. The building immediately went up in flames.
“Oh…um…guys,” Schropp was heard to say before darting off into the woods.
Officials put out the fire shortly thereafter. The building was burned to the ground.
Calls to Sensational Mons Entertainments were not returned.
LANKVILLE DAILY NEWS: IN BOOK FORM!
The book is gone. It will never return. We hear stories but they are likely false. We live in the woods now. We make fire with a lighter that we found in the street. It was crushed by a truck but, somehow, perhaps through some intervention that is beyond us, it still works. We are waiting. We are waiting.
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