Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Police Station Number Changes Nearly Finished

Police Station Number Changes Nearly Finished

September 16, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Lloyd Byas-Kirk

By Lloyd Byas-Kirk

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

Several police stations in Lankville are getting new numbers.

The changes are the result of a committee formed by Detective Gee-Temple and the Bureau of Probes who decided that nine stations should be numbered consecutively. Heretofore, because many stations had been eliminated, there was a number 54 station (Snowy Lake Area) and a number 55 station (Northern Hole Area) but no stations numbered 8-53.

“We felt this was very confusing,” noted Gee-Temple, who said the committee met over 20 times to decide on the new numbering system. “So, now the stations will just be numbered 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and so on.”

“We had some other ideas, including ditching the numerical system altogether and naming the stations after famous politicians, mall designers, and [decorative ham magnate] Chris Vitiello but in the end we just went back to consecutive numbers,” Gee-Temple added.

Former Station 115 (Western Cave District), now to become Station 9 or Station 2, according to conflicting reports.

Former Station 115 (Western Cave District), now to become Station 9 or Station 2, according to conflicting reports.

Under the new setup, Station 54 becomes Station 7, Station 55 becomes Station 3, and Station 82 (Pyramid Area) becomes Station 6. Other stations will remain the same.

Contractors have been working on the changes for several months.

“Gotta’ big sign there with a number on it and we gotta’ nail it in above the door,” noted Cloff Joffrey, a local contractor. “Big job, Lloyd. Big job.”

Joffrey became distracted by a lewd pamphlet and the interview ended prematurely.

Gee-Temple noted that several officers are still using the old station numbers which has resulted in some confusion.

“We apologize for the complete lack of police response recently. Understand that this is a process. It will be over as soon as they get those signs up,” the intrepid Detective said.

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