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Otis Nixon: 1955-2014

October 22, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments


By Otho Ump

By Otho Ump

Infamous Lankville lurker and Daily News columnist Otis Nixon did not die on Wednesday as previously reported but actually died last year, sources are now confirming.

Nixon was allegedly walking through a field wearing a fake beard. Witnesses state that he tripped on the beard and broke his neck. His body was then blown into the forest and destroyed.

Otis Nixon died last year.

Otis Nixon died last year.

“We have discovered that that information is false,” noted Detective Gee-Temple, who was the first to arrive at the scene. “Otis actually died last year. He was simply blown into the woods and destroyed. That whole fake beard story was just a creation of the media. But all of this happened last year.”

The Nixon family confirmed the date.

“I was quoted as making comments but those were all from last year,” said Nixon’s wife Teri.

Relatives, friends and former lovers visited the Life Lessons Funeral Home of the Southern Lankville Peninsula, Inc., on Friday, October 16 of last year from 2pm to 4pm and 6pm to 8pm with a few guys showing up for the unrelated 2:00am session. Funeral Services were Saturday, October 17 of last year at 11:00am at the Great Christ Tube Church of the Southern Lankville Peninsula.

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