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Hadbawnik Announces 2016 Presidential Bid

August 7, 2015 Leave a comment
By Kimball J. Cranney

By Kimball J. Cranney

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

Lankville Daily News senior correspondent and renowned gourd expert David Hadbawnik has announced he will run for president in 2016.10383084_553888541412180_7295192065874618611_n

“President Pondicherry is not a friend to nature,” declared the candidate at a mid-morning press conference held at the Casa Montecristo (an elegant reception hall). “He believes that economic growth comes from the construction of highways and malls. I believe that economic growth can only come from nature. And not just gourds but from all nature, all of nature’s bounty”.

“But also gourds,” Hadbawnik added.

The candidate will run alone.

“I don’t require another politician. I will run with the gourds,” Hadbawnik stated.

Hadbawnik becomes the third Lankvillian to declare his candidacy. Incumbent Albert Pondicherry Jr. and famous celebrity Randy Pendleton will also run.

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