Royer’s Madcap Experiences: Death in My Walls (Part II)

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Royer’s Madcap Experiences: Death in My Walls (Part II)

January 23, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By The Great President of Hell (formerly Ric Royer)

File photo

Panic began to set in.

“Yep, yup, did I say yep, yep?” I said aloud to no one at all. “Key Lime Pie? FINE morning?” I choked and then my mind became confused, muddled. I thought briefly of pecan waffles but had no idea where they were, how to make them. The smell of death was overwhelming.

I walked into the garage. The smell of death instantly followed. The room was dark, filled with ominous objects. There were large tubs along one wall. I could not recall why they were there.

“Are…yup…are they here? Pecan waffles?”

Sweat dripped into my eyes. I swallowed hard.

“Time to make…to make things happen…YUP….YEP.” I realized that I was suddenly screaming. I had lost all track of time.

It was then that the doorbell rang. After what seemed an interminable period, it rang again. I heard a phone somewhere. “Butta and eggs. Grits. Yep. Yep.” Hysteria washed over me. Plus, I was starving.

I became dimly aware of a voice calling out. They were calling for me. “GREAT PRESIDENT OF HELL? GREAT PRESIDENT OF HELL?” There was the noise of carried tools sliding around in a metal box. “EXTERMINATOR,” came the voice again.

I grabbed a nearby hammer.

“Yup, yup,” I whispered. A shadow appeared in the door. “It all starts with attitude, not to settle for less.” My voice was thin, spiked with fear.

The figure appeared in the garage doorway. I believed it to be death.

I swung the hammer.

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