Home > Opinions > OPINION: Mural at Vitiello Arena is Point of Entry to Earth

OPINION: Mural at Vitiello Arena is Point of Entry to Earth

January 24, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By “An Arrival”
Special Correspondent
Olivia-in-Xanadu-olivia-newton-john-15266151-499-500
File photo

A few weeks ago, a local artist was hired to paint a mural on an exterior wall of Vitiello Decorative Hams Arena. He chose to paint a bunch of random hot women. Little did he know that he was painting “the muses” and that this very mural would became my point of entry to earth.

My mission here was to inspire men to choreograph great dance scenes and to sing in choruses. Unfortunately, I violated the terms of my mission by sleeping with a bunch of them. Actually, just about all of them. I didn’t really do any inspiring either. Unless your definition of inspiring is getting out of bed at 2PM, roller-skating by the ocean in tight shorts and then engaging in a lot of wild waterbed sex.

Imagine my surprise then, when I was finally recalled to the timeless realm of the Gods. I stood before my Father and, of course, he knew all about it. “You have fallen in love with all these mortals,” he said. “Nah, I didn’t love any of them,” I admitted. “We were just having a good time, you know?” He was mystified. “You better have that mural painted over or I’ll probably keep going back there,” I offered. “This one guy, he wants to put me in some films he’s making.”

My Father thought about it for awhile.

“It will have to be done,” he said.

And I guess he somehow worked it out with this Vitiello fellow because I can’t get through the portal at all anymore.

It was fun while it lasted.

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