Home > Brock Belvedere's Notebook, Sports > Pucking Around: Brock Belvedere’s Notebook

Pucking Around: Brock Belvedere’s Notebook

January 25, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Brock Belvedere, Jr.
Senior Staff Writer
https://i0.wp.com/img-cache.cdn.gaiaonline.com/5402d3e1b020c8d52e77e6dca2bde61b/http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/naota2flcl/Random/ugly_man.jpg
File photo

JUMBO TRADE COMPLETED
 
A monstrous, jumbo trade was completed yesterday between the Hoover Island Stamps and the 24-Piece Men. Forward Rick Nash and blueliner Niklas Kronwall were sent to the 24-Piecers with forward Bobby Ryan and blueliner Ryan Suter going to the Stamps. The transaction was approved by Commissioner Pondicherry late last night and marked the second deal brokered by the Stamps in the past 24 hours.

“I was not entirely pleased with the necessary balance of both fervor and pathos on this club,” noted GM and island monarch Aaron Tucker, who was interviewed outside of Vitiello Decorative Hams Arena yesterday. “The people of Hoover Island watch sports not so much to watch “winning” but to enjoy the spectrum of human feelings and emotions that the players evoke. Also, it came to our attention that [Bobby] Ryan is really into nudity. Loves it. So he fits in well with our primarily nude island nation.”

Tucker suddenly fell into some trash and vomit and the interview was ended prematurely.

24-Piece Men GM Chris Vitiello was unavailable for comment.

GREAT PRESIDENT OF HELL BRIEFLY PERFORMS

Terrifying Bat GM “The Great President of Hell” (formerly Ric Royer) performed briefly at a “talent contest” last night near the town of La Hardy.

“He had a large cake and he brought the cake to a little table and then he talked a lot about the cake,” said a spectator, who refused to be identified. “He pointed out certain attributes of the cake that many of us had failed to notice and he broke down some barriers and allowed us to see something new, even if it was for an extremely short time.”

The performance completed, the Great President of Hell left the cake on the table. After a long period of silence, the spectators descended upon the cake all at once and 11 were killed in the ensuing melee.

CATCHING UP WITH FICK

Darkness GM “Fick” consented to be interviewed yesterday from his gloomy mansion on the Lankville Moors.

BB: Are we to believe that you have removed yourself from the day-to-day activities of Darkness?
F: More or less. I walk to the mountain over there every day. [Fick pointed in a direction in which no mountain was seen to exist].
BB: I see that you signed…
F: I don’t know these players. You can mention a name but it will mean nothing to me. So why do it?
BB: Someone has entered the room.
F: That’s the halfwit. The loud halfwit. Things will now rapidly deteriorate.

[The interview was ended].

  1. bob
    January 25, 2013 at 12:26 pm

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s