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Plain Talk with BIG CHIPS

February 6, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By BIG CHIPS
Special Correspondent
Photo on 2013-02-05 at 17.33
File photo

There’s a lot of confusion in the world today. You see it everywhere, especially in the media. That’s why we need a new voice, and that’s why I’m your BIG CHIPS.

And I’m piled high like Farby’s* with ideas, opinions, and things. I got layers of horsey sauce in my Red, Green, Black, and Blood brain. Love it or leave it.

For example, I see my girl Notches down at Lankville Station for Fine Fruits, Meets [sic] and Emporium. And Notches walks real standup like with a cane, like she’s got a Teets Eagle claw stuck in her spine, and she’s got a set of bosoms that can put coconuts to shame in terms of hardness.

And I say, Hey Notches! But all I’m thinking is that her back’s probably fucked up because she’s bowling balls for boobs.

And then the store PA goes all attention shoppers something or other is wrong, and a whole mess of police start marching through in single file lines.

That’s when Notches seems to just read my mind and say something about how funny it was to be seen at the Fruit and Meat Emporium.

Don’t know what the world is coming to.

*Popular Lankville roast beef establishment.

A. Lowinger contributed to this article.

  1. "The Cut"
    February 6, 2013 at 9:50 am

    Yo– it’s “The Cut”, here. Big Chips and I are best buds. You need to just take anything that ol’ Big Chips says and make it gospel, yo!

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