Home > 2012-13 Season, Ordeal of a Cosmonaut > The Ordeal of a Cosmonaut by “Nick”

The Ordeal of a Cosmonaut by “Nick”

February 6, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

Continuing falseness from an anus.

Gustav has died.  He expired quietly in the night, after eating a light dinner of candy.

I cannot bury him.  The cracked, dry earth yields to no pick or shovel.  So, after saying some words and repeating some great astronaut quotations, I burn the body near the outlands.   As I watch the great conflagration, I could not help but be slightly unnerved by thoughts of the Wandls.  I stare constantly at the far-off hills but nothing appears.

I spend the next day hauling enormous quantities of candy back to the bunker.  After that, I make few trips outside.  I continue to read Gustav’s strange account.

The great pink pancakes are now coming into the yard.  I can see their tracks in the morning.  Occasionally, my lawn chair is overturned.  Though I see no prints of man, I know that Blectum is with them.

In the evenings, I climb onto the roof and survey the area.  I see nothing.  On the cot inside, I read more.

The great pink pancakes were back last night.  A message was left in the dust.  It said, WANDLS.  I know now their name.  And I know that Blectum is with them.

I keep Gustav’s ray with me at all times.  It is an older model and it no longer charges well.  I have no idea if it works.  I am growing ill.

The Wandls were back again last night.  They have grown bolder.  They removed an outer screen in the bathroom window, bore or punched a huge hole in the middle and then replaced it.  And I saw Blectum’s tracks for the first time.  I know there will be an attack.

Here, the text becomes confusing.  A series of violent images, hastily-scrawled notes followed by vast accounts of the dead.  Blectum appears only as a mysterious and sinister figure, faraway and yet present.  The bunker is partially-destroyed and Gustav takes refuge in a series of candy sheds.

I have killed hundreds of Wandls.  But they are merely replaced by hundreds of new Wandls.  It is ungodly.


The text becomes muddled.  It is unclear what happened but the attack suddenly ceased.  There are pages of indecipherable writing.  There is a large chart listing available candies.  There is a shocking and sudden account of a decades-old murder.

And then it hits me.  Gustav was mad.

That night, I pack some candy and head for the interior.

Categories: 2012-13 Season, Ordeal of a Cosmonaut Tags: ,
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