Home > 2012-13 Season > Royer Changes Name to “One Who Uses it Daily”

Royer Changes Name to “One Who Uses it Daily”

February 19, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Tito Presentation
Distinctive Reporter
File photo

Terrifying Bats GM Cor Scorpionis (formerly Ric Royer) confirmed this morning that he has changed his name to “One Who Uses it Daily”.

A small press conference was given in the Foontz-Flonnaise Home of Abundant Senselessness dining hall to a sparse crowd of early-rising reporters.

“One Who Uses it Daily” appeared in a crimson road while carrying an illuminated porcelain Christmas structure.  He paused to liberally lather up a bagel with cream cheese, then proceeded to the lectern.

“It is our [the executive nodded to the Christmas structure] hope that this new sobriquet will evoke our daily life lessons, the creation of a limitless cell of wonder that cannot be contained by four simple walls.  We [the executive nodded again to the Christmas structure] have discovered a new source of inspiration and we have every intent to use this source daily. Now, please, enjoy some of these bread products, traditionally shaped by hand in the form of a ring*”.

The reporters then rushed the bagel table resulting in one stomping death.

Later, “One Who Uses it Daily” gave a brief speech before his cell.

“You’ll note that our [again, Royer nodded to the Christmas structure] nametag reads “Royysticks”.  Although it is spelled incorrectly, it is in reference to my given name and this is no longer applicable.  It should read “One Who Uses it Daily and Partner”.  The individuals that claim hegemony over this wretched community have yet to come to terms with the ephemeral.”

“One Who Uses it Daily” suddenly became dazed and entered a long period of psychogenic fugue.  The interview was ended prematurely.

*Commonly known as bagels.

Categories: 2012-13 Season Tags: ,
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