Home > 2012-13 Season > Vitiello Interview Interrupted by Tree Creature Bubble Attack

Vitiello Interview Interrupted by Tree Creature Bubble Attack

February 22, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Grady Kitchens
Senior Staff Writer
File photo

An interview with 24-Piece Men GM Chris Vitiello was interrupted today by an unexpected tree creature bubble attack.  The executive was unharmed and was able to repel the assault.

The interview, which took place by a series of lichen-covered rocks and small trees, was just underway when Vitiello noticed an enormous vengeful bubble floating directly towards him.  The executive dodged the menace which then reversed course and entrapped and carried away Association reporter Brock Belvedere, Jr.  The journalist is still missing as of press time.

“As I lay in the dust,” Vitiello later wrote, “I could sense that the bubbles were coming from far up on the rock and were emanating from a most vicious tree creature that was ten feet tall if he was an inch.  I knew that if I were to survive, I would have to lure him out of the rock cave.”

According to witnesses, the tree creature eventually made its way out of the rocks.  “It picked up Mr. Vitiello and threw him into a shallow pool,” said nearby resident Danius Zubrus, who was mowing his lawn.  “There was a long period of hand-to-hand combat with the tree creature still trying to ejaculate these large prison-like bubbles and Mr. Vitiello submerging the upper half of the tree creature under water.  Finally, Mr. Vitiello was able to drown the tree creature.  He walked off before we could even offer to help him.”

Vitiello is currently resting at his North Lankville home.   A report is expected later this afternoon.

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