Home > Lankville Society Scoop > An Interview with “Inner Hammer”

An Interview with “Inner Hammer”

BY IDA RUMPUS The Lankville Society Scoop

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Ida Rumpus sat down with Small Pizzas GM “Inner Hammer” outside his hotel suite in the Teets Island Chain.

IR:   You’ve not been very visible lately.  Trying to stay out of the limelight?
IH(squeezing a wet washcloth slowly over his head):  Much has happened.
IR:   Anything you’d like to tell The Lankville Society…

(Inner Hammer suddenly stood up and expelled an erratically moving torrent of urine in the direction of the ocean)

IH: What I have to tell would serve nothing but to foster a spiritual brain-tangling in the minds of your disenfranchised readers.
IR: I sense a great change has come over you.
IH: Yes. An exalted, almost astral change. However, I would still like to fix your bare ass in an unoccupied vertical position in space and torque it like a jenny.
IR: The hotelkeeper claims that you spend great periods of time in the jungle. Tell us about that.
IH: When you traverse the byways of your little life– going in and out of little shops and into your little office, do you ever come upon a vast, limitless jungle?
IR: No.
IH: There is your answer. (Inner Hammer suddenly stood up and expelled a second, more vicious stream of urine into the sand).
IR: Thank you.
IH: This heat. This heat precludes fleshly gratitude.

The interview suddenly collapsed.

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