An Interview with “Inner Hammer”

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An Interview with “Inner Hammer”

July 18, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

BY IDA RUMPUS The Lankville Society Scoop

File photo

Ida Rumpus sat down with Small Pizzas GM “Inner Hammer” outside his hotel suite in the Teets Island Chain.

IR: You’ve not been very visible lately. Trying to stay out of the limelight?
IH(squeezing a wet washcloth slowly over his head): Much has happened.
IR: Anything you’d like to tell The Lankville Society…

(Inner Hammer suddenly stood up and expelled an erratically moving torrent of urine in the direction of the ocean)

IH: What I have to tell would serve nothing but to foster a spiritual brain-tangling in the minds of your disenfranchised readers.
IR: I sense a great change has come over you.
IH: Yes. An exalted, almost astral change. However, I would still like to fix your bare ass in an unoccupied vertical position in space and torque it like a jenny.
IR: The hotelkeeper claims that you spend great periods of time in the jungle. Tell us about that.
IH: When you traverse the byways of your little life– going in and out of little shops and into your little office, do you ever come upon a vast, limitless jungle?
IR: No.
IH: There is your answer. (Inner Hammer suddenly stood up and expelled a second, more vicious stream of urine into the sand).
IR: Thank you.
IH: This heat. This heat precludes fleshly gratitude.

The interview suddenly collapsed.

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