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Mystical Goblet Auctionned

January 30, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

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News of the Weirdweird
By Graahaam Fosdick

A mystical goblet, which was discovered six months ago in the Teets Island Chain, has been auctionned sources are confirming.

The goblet, which is said to have divining properties, was sold to Lankville business magnate Eric Gelsinger.  The price was $1,257,421.00 (Lankville).

“I think if you put it on the floor or in some dirt it supposedly can tell the future,” noted Gelsinger, who operates a series of all-nude clubs in the Lankville downtown area.  “I haven’t tried it out yet.  In fact, it’s still in the box.  I haven’t been at all in the mood to use a boxcutter to slice the god damn thing open.”

The goblet, which is made of gold and bedecked with wondrous jewels, was discovered in a men’s room at the Southern Teets Island Bus Arrival Center by a local.  It has not been photographed and the auction was believed to be private and by invitation only.

“I buy a lot of stuff like that.  Adds a little class to my strip joints,” Gelsinger added.

Sources are confirming that Gelsinger outbid fellow Lankville business magnates “Inner Hammer” and Ric Royer.

“I’m disappointed,” noted Royer from his shuttered retail space/home at Twin Removed Pines Mall.  “I would have enjoyed having something that could predict the future– perhaps predict the dishes that would be served on any given day at the food court.  That would have been convenient for me.”

Royer began removing his shirt and sobbing and the interview had to be ended prematurely.

“Not too many people out there that have a mystical goblet,” Gelsinger noted.  “I think I got one up on just about everybody in Lankville in that regard.”

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