Home > Feelings by Dr. Kevin Thurston > Feelings by Dr. Kevin Thurston

Feelings by Dr. Kevin Thurston

Dr. Kevin Thurston

Dr. Kevin Thurston

Dr. Thurston is an expert on men’s feelings.

Recently, I led a group of eight clients on a masculine journey of rediscovery, exploration and fear.  The journey was originally planned for the Great Lankville Pyramid Area but, regrettably, funds were rather low so we ended up renting a motel– utilizing the weedy area out back as a sort of conference room.

During our first session, I asked all the men to hold hands.  “Breathe in the healthful air, all the way down to your belly and beyond,” I commanded.  The men did as told.  “Now breathe all of that air out– expel all that intangible waste.”  Again, the men complied.  This time, I went around and offered some items from a tray that I had stolen from a cafeteria– travel coffee mug, $5.99, gapless 5″ binder, $19.99, chess set that could also be turned into a table, $12.99, all good deals.

“Let’s move on to our varied spiritual loads.”  I turned to Wayne, a fairly new client with a pleasant, round face and a strange habit of removing his shirt at odd intervals.

“I mean nothing obscene by this Dr. Thurston but my spiritual load is located in my nuts.”

There was a tittering among the men but I raised my hand.  “Let Wayne finish,” I commented.

“Yes, it’s in my nuts.  I think all my negative energy has migrated to my nuts.  And so they hang there, needing release.  I’m not sure how to do that.”

“Clearly, your aura is not centered,” I said.  “Your energy field is beginning and ending with your nuts.  You are not grounded to earth.  I have seen this before.”

I made a prong with my hand and began massaging the aura around Wayne’s nuts.  “I want you to imagine an energy fountain moving up out of your nuts and through the midline of your body.  As you breathe, allow the fountain of energy to shower back to earth.”  As he did this, I offered him an opened box of glue sticks— $9.99, great deal.

“How do you feel now, Wayne?”

“I feel a little better, Dr. Thurston.”

“Did you want the glue sticks?  The box is opened but it’s never been touched.”


Everybody made out pretty well on the deal.

  1. Secaucus Thunderjowls
    March 14, 2014 at 10:39 am

    Bought some glue sticks once myself, didn’t I? Didn’t I buy them, baby? Didn’t I buy them, baby?

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