Exercise Your Creative Powers with Beautiful Window Boxes!
Have you been feeling sluggish lately? Feeling like maybe you haven’t done anything at all that’s the least bit creative? That you’re a complete piece of garbage? That you’re not sexually-compatible with attractive women? Why not exercise your creative powers then by creating some beautiful window boxes!
A hanging basket of pastel-colored impatiens with a whimsical birdhouse on top is always a great remedy but we’re not going to get into that today. Instead, I want you to pick up several window boxes from your local hardware outlet. They can be plastic but I recommend wood, preferably a nice cedar. It’s OK if it costs a lot– this if for YOU! Now, pile them high in your shopping cart (don’t worry about everyone staring at you), pay for them with a check and head home. You’re ready for your journey!

Lovely window boxes will make you feel creative and alive! (Opinion of the author and not necessarily of the Lankville Daily News)
First, we’re going to affix the cedar boxes to all of your downstairs windows. I generally use two reverse L-shaped brackets, a Braggett clamp and a small Chambers Company hand drill. Use a countersink Temple bit on the pilot hole and slam it in there. You can use a level if you’re really insistent on geometry.
Now, we’re ready for planting! An easy way to make an immediate splash is with a vigorous sweet potato vine. It has a sprawling, lawless shape and its chartreuse foliage really stands out against muted house colors! Shelley really liked the sweet potato vine. “It’s disorderly and uncontained, like me,” she said one time when we were just trying to eat some cakes at a restaurant. Just trying to eat some nice little fluffy hand cakes and she goes and makes a comment like that. The next day I ripped the potato vines straight out but we’re not going to do that today. We’re going to keep them in our lovely cedar window boxes and just wait for the compliments!
Next up, we’re going to consider some Mums. No one in the world is going to complain about a window box full of Mums. Variegated Lamium will compliment the Mums well particularly if you use a lot of dirt. Next, add some contrast. Supertunia Petunias with some Eastern Lankville Stadler Flowerets work well. Rust pansies are nice too against brick or that muted background we talked about earlier. Shelley liked rust pansies. One time, I was potting some rust pansies and she said, “you don’t do it hard and fast enough” and she grabbed my tools and pounded the pansies into that box as though the murderous demons of hell themselves were chasing her. When she added some thin, blonde, dancing geraniums into the mix, I knew exactly what that meant. Exactly.
Let’s move on to accessories! These are best for fall when you can clear out the death that now surrounds you and fill it with little hard corns, gourds, crabapples or tiny Tucker Island pumpkins! For spring and summer, however, I recommend an occasional laying of fine lace or perhaps a colorful bow atop your foliage. Keep it simple– adding too many accessories might give off the impression that you’re a bit of a hillbilly, so be careful!
Now you can sit back and enjoy! Shelley and I had a little patio where we would sit and stare at our window boxes for long periods. The patio is gone now but you can build one again. We’ll look into that next time.
LETTER SACK