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Horoscopes by Sheeba Incaviglia

Sheeba Incaviglia

Sheeba Incaviglia

Horoscopes

LEO- (July 23/Aug 23)- Put on a happy face this week– you’ll meet a few new friends and maybe even a mysterious handsome visitor from out of town.  Change your outfits often– put on a large, unwieldy hat and then spin it off your head unexpectedly in social situations.  Be sure not to use your hands.

VIRGO- (Aug 24/Sept 22)- This is definitely not the day to go up against your boss.  If she’s wearing a pants-suit, it’s a double whammy.  It’s too easy to become possessed by an idea to the extent of being ruthless.  Be discreet if you decide to tamper with her car.

LIBIS- (Sept 23/Oct 23)- Your appreciation of beauty is wonderful this week.  Try to surround yourself with as much beauty as possible.  Yell, “I’m surrounding myself with beauty!” with as much zest as possible so that people in nearby shopping areas can hear and maybe be inspired.

SCORPIONS- (Oct 24/Nov 21)- Reaching high up on shelves this week is a bad idea.  It’s just as easy to knock over ten big bottles of soda as it is one.  They’ll explode when they hit the ground and a manager will have to be called.  Step back and try not to get involved.

SAGITTARIAN YES!- (Nov 22/Dec 21)- You might be so obsessed with an idea this week that it will put people off.  It could alienate someone close to you and it may be just enough to put that person (if he is a Libis, Virgo, or Tautus) right over the edge.  There would be no coming back then.

CANDY CORNS- (Dec 22/Jan 19)- If you need to borrow something from someone, this is the week to do it.  In fact, you can benefit greatly from all sorts of things that other people own. Watch people as they leave their homes.  A forgotten locked window could lead to opportunities!

AQUARIUMS- (Jan 20/Feb 18)- You’ll spot an ordinary personal ad in the paper that says “Welcome Back Shirley”.  Where do you think Shirley was?  Why do you think she returned?  Will she leave again?  It will all become clear.  Also, treat yourself.  Rent a limousine and have the guy drive you out to the airport and back.

PISCES- (Feb 19/Mar 20)- This week is the best time to completely bulldoze others into doing what you want them to do.  Your lover may not enjoy taking orders from you but you’ll eventually make him take it and like it.  Still, be sure to smile.

ARIES- (Mar 21/Apr 20)- You were bored by that really short dessert chef.  You never gave any thought to where you were going together.  This week will be different.  Things will suddenly open up, piles of money will suddenly roll in and fantasy will become reality (on top of the piles of money).

TAUTUS- (Apr 21/May 21)- That support undergarment you bought gets blown to hell and you will feel depressed and fat all week.  You’ll drift off into boring dreams of little blonde men walking around in poorly-decorated rooms.  Don’t answer phone calls.  Order some carry-out and split the meal over the course of two or three dark days.

GEMINUS- (May 22/Jun 21)- There’s a fanciful frenzy this week that threatens to lure you into madness.  Avoid this cautiously.  Watch out at work– a female colleague will get flustered easily over a minor problem and begin crying and cussing.  Just stay away.  Keep your inner soul intact.

CANCERS- (Jun 22/July 22)- It’s best for you to plan ahead and always know exactly what you’re doing every second of the day.  There will be love this week but it will slow and with some guy you don’t even really like that much.  End it quickly so that you can get back to the planning.

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