Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > BREAKING: Area Girls Getting All Up in Everybody’s Shit

BREAKING: Area Girls Getting All Up in Everybody’s Shit

October 29, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Brock Belvedere Senior Staff Writer

By Brock Belvedere Senior Staff Writer

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

A group of area girls are getting all up in everybody’s shit, sources are now confirming.

The area girls that are getting all up into everybody's shit.

The area girls that are getting all up into everybody’s shit.

“We’re not sure what they want,” noted Life Lessons Funeral Home High School social studies teacher Gail Nailsmith, who fell victim to the group. “They formed a real fifth column, marching their way through the school with a singularity of purpose normally unseen in the girls of our area and really just getting right up into everybody’s shit.”

“If you get in their way, they get all up in your shit,” noted a fellow student who requested anonymity.

After briefly getting all up in everybody’s shit at the school, the group left the premises and began traveling around their Eastern Lankville hamlet of DeVries, where they got all up into the shit of a local man attempting to change a flat tire, a local woman chasing a tennis ball down the street and two local elderly men who were waiting for a buffet to open.

“It seems that the group really got all up into the [shit] of the two elderly men,” noted Detective Gee-Temple, who arrived at the buffet after the clique had already moved on. “The two men were quite rattled and some of their small personal effects were scattered about the parking lot. It’s something we’ll certainly have to look into once time permits.”

None of the girls had been identified at press time.

“We’ll be putting out some orange cones in strategic areas,” noted Gee-Temple. “Then, we’ll pull some school records. We’ll get to the bottom of this before long.”

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