Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > No Update on Wind-Blown Bumpkins: Schropp on Breakfast Sandwiches

No Update on Wind-Blown Bumpkins: Schropp on Breakfast Sandwiches

October 30, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Lloyd Byas-Kirk

By Lloyd Byas-Kirk


No updates are reported on the bumpkins who were blown away by the wind last week.

No update on the bumpkins, Gee-Temple says.

No update on the bumpkins, Gee-Temple says.

“I’m not sure what you’re looking for Lloyd,” said Detective Gee-Temple. “Getting blown away by the wind is an act of finality. There are no updates and there never will be any updates.”

Gee-Temple took a sip of coffee and admired the morning sunrise out of his office windows.

“They’re gone,” he added after some time had passed.



Breakfast sandwiches– yes, they are my life. Ever since that fateful June day long ago when one was placed before me– a starry-eyed lad in search of a dream, a reason to believe, FOUND, after taking that first bite. I still remember the crunch, the bite of bacon with egg and cheese in between that warm, tender biscuit. That moment everything became more real and unreal at once, like I was newborn again. The whiteness of the paper plate with the small grease stains left by the sandwich. The heat of that June morning warming back through the window. My Mom’s voice seeming a million miles away, asking me if I wanted milk or orange juice. Why? Why would I need further essence? I recall thinking as I stared at the strawberry toaster pastries left out for me in case I didn’t like the breakfast sandwich and knowing that I was leaving those pastries behind FOREVER.

"I was leaving those pastries behind forever".

Schropp knew he was leaving those pastries behind forever.

Oh yes, breakfast sandwiches are my life. But the time has come to expand my horizons. Not only for the greater good of Lankville but, I don’t know, maybe to GET OUT FROM BENEATH THE SHADOW OF THE THESE BUMPKINS? IS THIS EVEN A STORY GUYS!!?? THERE IS NO UPDATE ON THEM!! CUISINE NEED NOT BE PAIRED WITH A STORY ABOUT BUMPKINS! IT MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. But…that’s ok. I’m calm now.

Anyway, I have decided to include other food passions of mine (buffets and anything fried) to my future articles. I believe these two food arenas will find similar zeal in many residents here and I would love to bring you my future thoughts and reviews– perhaps in, you know, a DEDICATED food column. My family (particularly the female members) have long remarked how I am a “sweet, sensitive man” and, in turn, I feel as if I have a “sweet, sensitive food palate” which I hope you can come to trust.

The Trinity by Brian Schropp (2013).

The Trinity by Brian Schropp (2013).

Please do not worry that this will lead to me writing less and less about breakfast sandwiches or people’s right to eat them anytime or anywhere. I have already addressed some fellow members of the BSU (Breakfast Sandwich Underground) and their concerns. And I would like to take this opportunity to announce an upcoming art show of mine (basement location yet undetermined) which will feature several paintings of breakfast sandwiches. One will be included with this article as a little “teaser”, shall we say.

Until my next article Lankville, keep your mind and mouth open to anything new that might come your way!

Happy Eating,

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