Home > Inflamed by Stars and Blood > THE LANKVILLE FAN-FICTION CLUB IS A MALEBOLGIAN SNAKEPIT

THE LANKVILLE FAN-FICTION CLUB IS A MALEBOLGIAN SNAKEPIT

November 19, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Seamus Goldfarb

By Seamus Goldfarb

Sponsored by Inflamed by Stars and Blood: Lankville's Premier Science Fiction and Horror Review

Sponsored by Inflamed by Stars and Blood: Lankville’s Premier Science Fiction and Horror Review

Intrigue rocks Lankville’s once esteemed fan-fiction community as its beloved President (the humble author of this article employing the rarely used 4th Person Totes Objective Perspective) Seamus Goldfarb was ousted in an emergency vote held during his double shift last night at the unicorn keychain kiosk at Twin Removed Pines Mall. What was his crime, gentle reader? It was merely pursuing his passion for the craft which had brought us all– the Lankville Fan-Fiction Writers Club– to the Pontiff’s Pizza on the corner of I-34 in the first place. A philistine amongst our number discovered within my extensive online body of work a large cache of BOT RANGERS, DECAMP! slash fiction and reported it to our ethics committee (Chad, Steve and Island Steve– j’accuse!) as some kind of “violation”. The real violation is allowing the inner life of the 1989 series Delta Squad: Harass characters to be left unexplored. While my own Fifty Shades of Harass was a genre exploding work it was not simply “Glorifed porn starring two guys in pantsuits rubbing all over each other” as one less than enlightened commenter on my blog put it. I will of course be appealing this decision at the next bi-monthly table read and Big Stuffed Pizza Brunch. My case is as strong as the narrative of my thirty seven chapter Richard and the Postman/Asteroid Belt Avengers cross-over but if the worst happens and rightful office is not restored I will soldier on. After all, there is another perfectly good Pontiff’s Pizza next to the shopping cart swamp by the old tire plant. Like a phoenix from the ashes, I will rise again as will a new and better Fan Fiction Club to service all of Lankville’s extended and meta canon needs. I’ll leave you with a fitting quote from my next opus which I will upload as soon I finish cleaning the keychain engraver at work tonight.

“Strike me down Dr. Richard and I shall only become more radical-er than you could ever imagine!” The Postman- “The Ultra Richard and the Postman Chronicles”

The opinions of Seamus Goldfarb are not necessarily those of the Lankville Daily News or any of its subsidiaries.

Mr. Daniel Madison (Northwestern Lankville suburban area) contributed to this article.

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