Home > Sarah Samways: Contributing Female > Local Teacher Fails Entire Class

Local Teacher Fails Entire Class

By Sarah Samways

By Sarah Samways

Sarah Samways is a contributing female.

Local school teacher Stevette Debbie, 32, failed her entire first grade class as of yesterday, early evening.

“These kids are idiots, to be honest with you,” claimed Debbie. “They will never learn!”

Ms. Debbie was then seen putting large red Xs on student papers, while furiously gulping down jasmine tea. Some papers even received a blunt “F U!”

When probed as to why there is so much failure afoot and how she can even determine that at such a young age, Ms. Debbie put it simply: “Genetics. Most are just born dumb, mean, and creepy. Some learn it over time, through unfortunate experiences, and at no real fault of their own. Some try to fly under the radar because they don’t want to be chastised by their peers or fall victim to a youth challenge and so they pretend to be stupid but that’s just another form of stupidity.”

Teacher Stevette Debbie who lists her age as "36".

Teacher Stevette Debbie who lists her age as “32”.

Looking at Ms. Debbie’s classroom, one would never suspect the stupidity that lies there. All seem oddly formal wearing bow ties and cardigans; perfect little gentlemen and ladies. Upon closer inspection, however, you will notice their vacant, beady little eyes. What has happened to Lankville’s youth?

“Don’t get me started on that little freak in the corner. He’s tall for his age and he’s always asking to braid the foreign girl’s hair. They’re awful, the whole lot of them!”

Asked if the situation could change, if there is any hope for Lankville’s children, Ms. Debbie, says, “Stop believing in them and maybe they’ll take notice and really buckle down. I doubt it though, they really are the worst.”

In an unrelated story, scientists are taking samples from the local water supply and will be conducting several litmus tests.

  1. January 6, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    Reblogged this on SARAH SAMWAYS and commented:
    Failures astound…

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