Home > Offers > Lankville State University Now Hiring an Assistant Professor of Pow!

Lankville State University Now Hiring an Assistant Professor of Pow!

January 28, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments

At Lankville State University, we don’t have students. We have “learning partners.” And we don’t subscribe to tired definitions of subjects and time periods determined centuries ago by men in funny hats who kept small animals up their sleeves to keep warm – men who left us with vague rubrics like “the Lankville Renaissance” and “math.” Instead, we invite our learning partners to interact with faculty on common ground that meets the dynamic needs of our exciting, ever-shifting modern world. If that sounds like the kind of vibrant environment in which you can help others learn, grow, and thrive, you might be our new Assistant Professor of Pow! The Assistant Professor of Pow! will work under the Provost of Pizazz in concert with the Dean of Dopeness, and be affiliated with the Office of the Vice President for Excellence in Zip-a-dIgital-Doo-Dah (OVPEZIDD).

Also, we have a girls volleyball team.

Also, we have a girls volleyball team.

Can you push our learning partners to that place beyond ordinary knowledge, taking the tops of their heads off, twisting them around, and filling them with glitter bombs of wisdom equal to a thousand burning suns? Can you lift them right out of the classroom and make them dance like marionettes with a million volts of logos running through their limbs? Please send a cover letter or Lanktube video explaining how your particular brand of enthusiasm would contribute to the mission of the Lankville community; a one-word teaching philosophy; and a Super Sick Syllabus that demonstrates your skills in Ill Communication with potential learning partners at Lankville State. The superior candidate will ignore these instructions and surprise us or, better yet, leave encrypted cyber-clues as to the whereabouts of their application materials.

Deadline February 15; candidates chosen for fruitful interactions with search committee will be notified via the Lankville Town Crier at Pondicherry Square.

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