Home > Presidential Addresses > President Pondicherry on the Lankville Amusement Park Disaster

President Pondicherry on the Lankville Amusement Park Disaster

February 12, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments
President Pondicherry

President Pondicherry

Lankville, I am writing to you from the place where the earth swallowed up so many of our loved ones (and the amusement park). I hate it. I hate it when the earth does this. But these days of sorrow and outrage have also been marked by great acts of courage (some funnel cake fryers were saved). They have been marked by religious congregations coming together with plastic check-patterned tablecloths (you know, the ones that are easy to wipe down) and portable food containers, welcoming strangers as brothers. In a nearby community, when two men tried to break into a home during the confusion, neighbors shot them with guns. When I met Joey Bell of the Southeastern Lankville Mesa Fire Department, he and his colleagues were utilizing the “Jaws of Life” in a vain attempt to open the earth. “My car is in there,” Joey told me. “But I still have my spirit”.

Across our coasts, we are seeing a powerful Lankvillian determination to rebuild this amusement park.

The work of the rescue is largely finished (there wasn’t any). That’s because the earth has remained closed like some sort of hideous anus. But one day we will gather the enveloped. We will gather them, treat them with respect and prepare them for glorious rest in an afterlife full of fun in an amusement park in heaven. I know we will fulfill this promise.

The Department of Earth Chasms is now registering survivors of the incident. We are working to reunite them with their cars and some of the little toys they won. Call me. I know you know the number. Call me, tell me what you need. I will give it to you. Call me now.

The trial of Sensational Mons Island reminds us again that we are stronger than we know. They remind us of a hope beyond all pain and death– God who welcomes the lost to a house with no walls, made not by hands. Yes.

God Bless you and God Bless Lankville,
President Pondicherry

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