Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Royer Knighted in Solemn Wet Hill Ceremony

Royer Knighted in Solemn Wet Hill Ceremony

February 16, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Elliott Cumber-Lanny

By Elliott Cumber-Lanny

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

Sir Ric

Sir Ric

Eccentric Lankville businessman Ric Royer was knighted today in a solemn ceremony that took place on a wet hill.

After a mysterious breakfast of pancakes that suddenly morphed into waffles, Royer was made to lean on a green hassock before President Pondicherry. The President touched each of Royer’s shoulders with a sword and then presented the executive with a series of medals, a framed poster of a turtle emerging from a mossy rock and a small crown.

“Sir Ric represents all that is exceptional about Lankville,” declared the President. “His is an intellectual life marked with scholasticism but also a warrior’s life marked with heroism, bravery, gallantry and only killing people when he really has to.”

“It’s an interesting feeling,” Royer remarked after the ceremony. “I had never before thought of being knighted but now that I am knighted, I can’t imagine not being a knight. People should really celebrate this occasion. It’s a tremendous victory for knights everywhere.”

As part of his knighthood, Royer will have access to many Lankville malls after hours.

“I have experienced the mall after hours before but this will give me wider access to a lot more malls,” Royer noted, with obvious pleasure.

Royer is the first Lankvillian knighted since 2011.

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