Exciting New Scaffolding Takes Shape Outside Hadoobian Hall

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Exciting New Scaffolding Takes Shape Outside Hadoobian Hall

May 7, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments

Elliott Cumber-Lanny

Connoisseurs of the cable, sommeliers of steel, gourmands of the grommet, take note: an impressive new edifice has gone up outside Lankville State’s venerable Hadoobian Hall. The scaffolding rises some ten stories and, when completed, will provide easy access for visitors seeking alternative ingress to the building. It will also offer an aesthetically pleasing shell to what building administrators admitted was a rather staid and dated brick facade.

The scaffold bounty.

Noted mall architect Mike Squatch waxed nostalgic at the sight of the scaffolding.

“It’s such a classic touch,” he said. “Functional, sure, but forward-thinking as well. Just look at the way it catches the sunlight and breaks up the monotony of the building surface!”

“They don’t make them like that anymore,” he added.

Indeed, according to blueprints shared exclusively with the Lankville News, the scaffolding is of the welded aluminum-alloy type, with base sections in widths of 29-inch or 4-feet, six inches, and spans of eight feet between frames. It features two diagonal braces and one horizontal brace, and allows the placement of intermediate extension and guardrail sections, using individual end frames and braces. The scaffolding also boasts a leveling mechanism for uneven terrain. Provided that alloy couplers are used with the light but sturdy alloy tubing, the scaffolding should be impervious to corrosion, according to experts we consulted.

Prior to erection.

“Eat it, Peterborough Town Hall scaffolding,” said Squatch.

Of the several dozen passersby quizzed by this reporter, almost every single one expressed a tingly sense of amazement and wonder at the sheer beauty and scale of the scaffolding. One person admitted to outright awe.

“I have a morbid fear of exostructures,” said Susie P. Totenhotten, who works in a nearby building. “Anything with exposed framework just freaks me right the hell out.”

Still, Ms. Totenhotten had to admire the impressive vertical thrust of the scaffolding, and allowed that the rods and parts lying around gave her a certain visceral thrill.

“They’re just… sitting there,” she said.

She ran from the edifice, flushed and breathing heavily.

“The bottom line is, Lankville has been waiting for something like this for a long time,” noted Squatch. “With summer coming, you need exciting new architectural attractions – sure, we’ve got The Woods, the Mud Pits, and the roaring chasms of fire at Grand Southern Expansive Cement Grove Mall… but this – this is a game-changer.”

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