Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Royer Buys Box of Puppies

Royer Buys Box of Puppies

By Lloyd Byas-Kirk

By Lloyd Byas-Kirk

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

Notable Lankville business magnate Ric Royer has purchased a box of puppies, sources are confirming.

Royer: Puppy Daddy

Royer: Puppy Daddy

“Yes, it’s true, I have purchased the puppies,” noted Royer, who was interviewed in his Lankville High Hills home. “The dew of the light bathes all of our souls in perfume and the lambent flame brings us the continuity of consciousness.  Now, let’s open the box of puppies.”

Royer tore open the box and seven puppies were seen to suddenly dart under some nearby furniture.

“What a light!” the executive exclaimed. “The rays consume me!”

The puppies are believed to have been purchased from an Outlands farm. Phone calls have not been returned.

“It’s very difficult to be alone in a fourfold dimensional world, possessing the Double Wand of Power (interviewees capitals) as I do,” Royer later stated. “These puppies will help me focus, keep me company and, later, as they grow older, they will be able to scare off or even eat intruders.”

“Now the mystery is done,” Royer added after a long period of eerie silence.

A press conference is expected later today.

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