Home > Presidential Addresses > President Pondicherry on the State of Lankville

President Pondicherry on the State of Lankville

President Pondicherry has a new dog!

President Pondicherry

Each day in Lankville is a celebration of the past; a joyous reaffirmation of what it means to be Lankvillians; a confirmation before the world of the vitality and durability of liberty.

It is because of liberty that we will be holding presidential elections in 2016. There will be many candidates. Some may seem better than me– they may have better posters. But I trust that you will vote with your heart, Lankville, as you have always done. The people will speak.

I want you to speak to me. Tell me about the elections. Tell me about liberty. I want to hear from you late at night when all the birds have flown into barns and only the sound of the lonely hoot owl remains. You can be drunk. This is liberty.

Our plans for the future are rigorous and innovative. The Northern Hole Area, long a center of vice and iniquity, will soon be completely leveled and replaced with malls and computer rooms. We have plans to construct an enormous super-highway straight through the area. There will be many ramps and overpasses. The guard rails will be topped with gold. It will be the envy of the world. We look forward to the day when no one with a car will be left behind.

Each day, I take a moment to sit in a patio chair outside the palace and reflect upon the lot of all Lankvillians. I believe in you and your happiness. It is my only non-sexual desire to make your life better. I often fall asleep for hours.

We will prevail.

God Bless You and God Bless Lankville,

President Pondicherry

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