Home > Lankville Action News: YES! > Giant Trash Storm to Pass Through Lankville Tomorrow

Giant Trash Storm to Pass Through Lankville Tomorrow

Lankville Daily News weatherman Jack Quintz.

By Jack Quintz, Weatherman

A giant storm of trash is expected to pass through Lankville tomorrow.

Citizens are advised to stay inside between noon and 8:00 PM.

“The trash is simply making its yearly circumnavigation of the Earth and arriving back to its original source, as trash is known to do,” said Shane Rawley, a scientist with the Lankville National Organization for Weather Patterns (LNOWP) in an email.

By Friday, the trash is expected to travel out to sea but not before dumping anywhere from 10,000 to 100,000 pounds of garbage on the mainland.

“It will mean an enormous cleanup but the stout will of Lankvillians will bend this problem over their knee like a child or a misbehaving lover and spank it away into oblivion,” said President Pondicherry in a prepared statement.

Trash particles will contribute to hazy skies and the creation of toxic algal blooms in most of Lankville’s waterways.

“Yes, the rivers and lakes will all die, unfortunately,” said Rawley when probed. “So, there’s that.”

Some studies have suggested that trash can affect how clouds and precipitation actually form.

“It could rain trash. You should warn everybody about that too,” Rawley noted.

Prior to the trash tempest, weather should be warm and seasonable with increasing humidity towards evening.

Visible satellite imagery showing the trash storm nearing the Lankville coast.

Visible satellite imagery showing the trash storm nearing the Lankville coast.

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