Home > Brock Belvedere's Notebook > An Interview with Shane Meyer’s Aunt Pam

An Interview with Shane Meyer’s Aunt Pam

January 31, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

Unflattering File Photo

By Brock Belvedere, Jr.
Senior Staff Writer

The Lankville Daily News had a chance to sit down with Shane Meyer’s only known relative, who asked to be identified as “Aunt Pam”. The meeting took place in a dim basement hallway that smelled vaguely of educational chemicals.

BB: Do you think your nephew really perished in that tire house explosion/fire?
AP: He was a strange child. He had an odd way of staring directly through someone.

Aunt Pam

Aunt Pam

BB: Were you surprised when he made a fortune in fried plantains?
AP: Yes. He had no interests outside of semi-professional man wrestling.
BB: It’s well-known in the hockey community that you were quite a dish at one time.
AP: I was compared often to different actresses that appeared in certain specific films.
BB: Tell me about your bosom, as in, your bosom in its prime.
AP: I remember the exact day that I realized it had fallen. We were at a country fair and I was standing by a gigantic, industrial popcorn frier. My late husband commented on the seriousness of the frier and someone mentioned the amount of kelvins. I looked down and it hit me then.
BB: Do you have anything else?
AP: I make yarn Christmas ornaments. I sell them.

The interview sort of just slowly collapsed then. Nothing else was said.

  1. Syl Bracketts (86)
    January 31, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Will you all make us a link to the christmas ornament site, please ? Do they have discounts for the senior citizens, I have an id for my age. And they’re prices? Thank you and have a bless day!

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