Home > Contests, Offers, Challenges > Yeah, I’ll Make a Little Presentation Oar for You

Yeah, I’ll Make a Little Presentation Oar for You

February 12, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Floyd Tingley

By Floyd Tingley

Yeah, sure– you need a little presentation oar? I’m your man. I’ve been making little presentation oars for 25 years. Started out making ’em out of discarded table legs. Man, I used to have a whole basement full of discarded table legs– don’t ask me how. Seriously, don’t ask me how because I WILL NOT answer you.

Anyways, you can pick from a couple different styles. When I’m done, I’ll even put a little plaque on there. It’ll say, for example, “TO MILT, FROM FLOYD”. That’s just an example– man, I’ll put anything you want on there as long as you’re not making a mockery of things. I don’t have patience for that.

People, say, what am I gonna’ do with this little presentation oar once I receive it? Well, they’re perfect for your den, office, yacht club or basements. Creates that nautical look.  The freedom of the open sea.  Now, they’re presentation only– we need to understand that right away. You can’t actually use this oar. You won’t get anywhere if you try to use this oar, I’m telling you that right now.  I got a little warning sticker on the side letting people know that they’ll die if they try to take a craft out with just this oar.  No doubt in my mind.

I gave one to my son last Easter. He’s a professor out at the University. He’s got a whole den full of books. I said– “why don’t you just throw away some of the books on that shelf and then you can put the oar there for display purposes?” I told him I’d help him throw them away. I don’t think he ever did do it though– I saw the oar on a small hill in his backyard last time I was there. Who knows what these kids think these days?  Sure don’t seem to have a sense about creating that nautical look– that freedom of the open sea.  You won’t get me in some classroom, I’ll tell you that.  You can’t learn to make little presentation oars in a classroom, that’s for sure.

You can write me:  Tingley Little Presentation Oars, 55 Knobs, South Lankville, 2-111.   Serious inquiries only.  I really don’t have time to mess around with someone who’s only half-hearted about little presentation oars.  Besides, little presentation oars sell themselves.  You don’t want on the list, fine, free up your spot in line.

They’re $195.

 

The opinions of Mr. Tingley are not necessarily the opinions of The Lankville Daily News and its subsidiaries.  

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