Home > Challenges, Contests, Offers > September is Presentation Oar Month

September is Presentation Oar Month

September 5, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments
By Floyd Tingley

By Floyd Tingley

A particular division of the Lankville Coastal Guarders that I work for has declared September “Presentation Oar Month”. How are we gonna’ celebrate at Tingley Little Presentation Oars, you ask? By having the sale of the century, that’s how.

We’re not messing around. Right now, you can get a hand-crafted little presentation oar for just $185. Couple different styles available. Creates that nautical look in your den, club basement, boat, or rented room.  Comes with a gold hand-engraved plaque. Anything you want on there*. There’s not a single person I’ve done business with that has walked away unhappy. That’s my guarantee.

How can I afford to give these little presentation oars away at that price, you ask? Because I know that once you buy one Tingley Little Presentation Oar, you’ll keep coming back to me for all your little presentation oar needs. A Tingley little presentation oar is the best little presentation oar.

You can write me: Tingley Little Presentation Oars, 55 Knobs, South Lankville, 2-111. I’ve also set up an emails address just to accommodate the orders– it’s tingleylittlepresentationoars@lankvillewest.com Hurry up and place your order. It’s Presentation Oar month, after all.

* Except for anything irreverent (I reserve the right to use my discretion).

The opinions of Mr. Tingley are not necessarily the opinions of The Lankville Daily News and its subsidiaries.

  1. September 5, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    I am going to burn your house down, Tingley. Your oars should be eradicated. You are like lice. That oar factory of yours is going to explode. I will make you eat a damn oar. YOU WILL SUFFER

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