Home > Presidential Addresses > President Pondicherry on the State of Lankville

President Pondicherry on the State of Lankville

President Pondicherry

President Pondicherry

My fellow Lankvillians,

There is an old medieval saying. “Oftentimes, a kingdom may possess a good in excess and a harm in excess, thus problems.” There is wisdom in this.

We have two things in excess in Lankville– beautiful malls and extraordinary violence.  Our malls are glittering bounteous visions.  I love them and I know you do too. I want you to tell me how much you love them– write to me.  Write poems, not ordinary letters. Write them on lavender paper. Kiss the paper so I can see your rouged lips.

But what of our violence?  It must end.  Join me in helping to end it.  If you were thinking about going out today and beheading somebody, I implore you– just don’t.  It’s simple.  Buy some tennis shoes instead.  Or write me that letter that we talked about earlier.

During summer, I find it useful to wander shirtless into a waving field of grains. There, using primitive tools, I dig a hole. With each year, due to the increasing capaciousness of my rump, the hole must be made larger. And yet, with each year, my strength grows weaker. It is a conundrum.

I am looking forward to an end to our violence and better malls. It is our hope that our people will come together in the spirit of life to forge a solution. Solutions happen only after careful contemplation in holes which is why I mentioned the earlier story about sitting in a hole.

God bless you and God bless Lankville,

President Pondicherry

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