Leaked Drawings of Theme Park Expose a Subterranean Dream Hell

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Leaked Drawings of Theme Park Expose a Subterranean Dream Hell

January 10, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments

By Lloyd Byas-Kirk

LANKVILLE ACTION NEWS: YES!

After local residents voiced suspicion over the fact that no visible signs of construction have taken place on the infertile heath where the privately-owned and operated theme park, Sensational Mons Island, was planned for completion in March, city officials pressed for the status of the development of the project.

In response, a theme park representative recently mailed a pencil drawing to President Pondicherry’s office outlining the layout for the theme park. The blueprints that were sent just had an arrow pointing to a circle indicating where the line of people are to enter the park.

Blueprint of theme park mailed to President Pondicherry’s office. Note the “line of people” and the circle representing the entirety of the theme park.

Unsatisfied with these drawings, the internet vigilante, known only as Internonymous (aka Lankville Daily News correspondent Zack Keebaugh), released sketches he reportedly discovered by doing an internet search for “real Sensational Mons Island Blueprints” (boolean). The sketches reveal an otherwordly hell fantasia that could not be reproduced within this article because its arcane architectural proportions requires two monitors and a prism to view in its entirety. According to the drawings, the theme park consists of just one ride (hellish), a pit, and a bear.

Internonymous later commented that the drawings “bore a dang hole in my brain and filled it with voodoo. This shit is the end of science, man. I kinda wish I never found those freaky blueprints, and so does my mom ’cause I’ve been keeping her up all night pacing back and forth, you know? I live upstairs from her and- ” (we hung up at that point).

At press time, officials at Sensational Mons Island had not responded to the fliers that we put up in the woods asking for more information.

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